The Bombshell Factor™

Bombshells….my darlings….the women I love SO much…let’s talk.
So I am in Macy’s last week trying on some VERY fabulous summer dresses~ (run, don’t walk to your nearest store~ so many of the dresses are perfect for YOUR body type this year!!) Fashion is for another day dear Bombshell….I want and NEED to be serious for today.
I am condensing the story so that I don’t write an entire book for a blog post (but I am highly considering writing a book about this very topic!!) So back to Macy’s…I am in the dressing room and hear two people walk in to the otherwise empty dressing rooms. One of them is saying to the other one “Well don’t you think this will make me look fat?!! I don’t think this will look good with my big butt!!” to which the reply was “No it won’t make you look fat.” I could tell the second voice was a younger voice, like perhaps the little sister of the first gal. The older one continues: “My body is shaped so weird, nothing looks good on it. I can’t believe I am supposed to wear this stuff with this fat stomach!!” Silence from the younger gal. Older gal as she continues trying on clothes: “Well I don’t know why you picked these clothes for me, they look awful. I should just forget trying to look nice.” Younger one: “What do you mean? You do look nice.” Older: “No I don’t. I am changing and we are getting out of here. This was a stupid idea!!” Silence. I felt so very very sad. From the conversation I could tell the younger one was a LITTLE girl and I guessed her to be about 7 or 8 from the sound of her sweet voice. I figured the older one was a sister or babysitter and I just felt so sorry for the littlest girl that had no words for this condemnation-fest. As I sat there I tried to figure out a nice way to tell the older sister to please stop talking about her body like that to this baby girl because I could tell it felt awful to her and confusing as well.
As I pray for the right words to say to stop this self-hating madness, I open my dressing room door. Standing in front of the 3-way mirror was a 30 year old woman AND HER VERY YOUNG DAUGHTER. YES. This conversation was between MOTHER AND DAUGHTER. I audibly gasped. The young woman said to me, “Are you alright?” I said yes…and then I asked “Is this your daughter?” and her reply was “yes.” I asked, “How old is she?” And the young Mother said “Seven.” It was all I could do not to cry right then and there. I looked around to see if John Quinones was coming around the corner with the cameras to say they were actors…but he wasn’t there. No acting here. I said to her, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation….please may I just say something?” She said, “Uh, okay.” My response: “You are your daughter’s hero and she looks up to you. She gets her self esteem about her body from what you think and say about YOUR body.” The Mother quickly discounted my comment and replied, “I always ask her about fashion and how I look. She has good taste!” I almost threw up. Not sure what memo this Mother got that told her that her 7 year old was in charge of providing any fashion service for her….a 7 year old should be concentrating on being seven, not heading up Mommy’s fan club so Mommy feels good about herself!! I bit my tongue because the little girl was standing there. What could I say to this young Mother that would get through to her? Before I could say another word the Mother said “I am trying not to take this the wrong way!!” And that was it. I said to her “You take me any way you need to take me to hear the seriousness of my plea to you!” She looked at me funny and I continued. “This is a very serious matter that you may not fully understand until she gets older. I am telling you that this is a burden much too heavy for a child to bear to listen to her hero talk about herself like that. I am asking you to think about it and please stop doing this to her and to yourself. It was heartbreaking to hear and I know it isn’t easy for her either. Food for thought my dear.” With that, the young Mother said “Thank you” and brushed past me very quickly. I could tell I hit a nerve with her.
Did I hit a nerve with YOU dear Bombshell? Are you unhealthily confiding your body insecurities with your daughters? Did your Mother unknowingly do that with you? EVERY woman has something about her body that doesn’t suit her. It doesn’t mean that you can’t love it anyway. Are you loving yourself enough so that your daughters learn to love themselves? THAT my darling, is the best Mother’s Day gift you could ever receive. XOXO Gigi Belmonico